I miss blogging like most women (me included) need chocolate to know they are alive.
Each day I have “write a blog” on my to do chart yet the solitude and quiet spirit I need to crank out my kinda writing doesn’t present itself. Unless I neglect the tender souls in my care I find it harder to sequester myself and think deeply in order to share sufficiently. The distraction crew includes: an extremely willful girl, home schooling a preteen with his first pimple, and a highly committed sophomore involved in both early morning tennis and after school theater… and to confound my condition my driving helpers are away at college. I’ve had driving helpers for six years and now poof. Gone. (mid Jan. Kevin will try for his license…the outcome is uncertain at this point…should I mention teaching a teen to drive is highly stressful?) Ok. I also admit my pursuits into the equestrian life factor into the busy life I occupy. But I’m NOT budging on that commitment. Bear is my therapist, my best friend while Craig works, and my desperate need to connect to nature. Time in God’s word + Time at the stables = sanity for what follows….aka…life. (I’m happy to report my riding abilities are progressing nicely. I was on a runaway Biggie recently (jack’s horse)… and I wasn’t scared. I didn’t lose my balance. I knew what to do about the problem without much thought. That’s what I call progress.)
As I write there are three of my five giggling over a cartoon in Kira’s room, leftovers are on the counter for dinner and my cute husband has a late dinner which means the evening family festival around the table will be postponed until tomorrow. My kittens are napping with their limbs entwined like lovers and my happy (fat) dog is asleep at my feet. One college boy is on his way home for the holidays, and one is studying like a scholar for another week of exams. I am happy to conclude my Christmas chores are complete because I kept it simple and sparse. Finished. Whew. I feel the coveted freedom to sit, think and organize my thoughts. There are photos to share with you of what wonders God is doing with the Kirabo Seeds family in Uganda. I can only hope I can get that far before crisis crashes into my protected pocket of time.
And no sooner did I write that than Kira just clomped down the stairs with orders for everyone. Loud bossy directions of her expectations for this evening are spewing out her mouth. God help us because she is the lead example for why Dobson wrote his book about willful children. The sass she serves me almost requires smelling salts to revive my stunned response. And then all four boys occasionally need to hold me back until she can get placed far away in time out. Time out always works for her… and for me. Shrieking is her forte. Jack has a nasty bite bruise from last weekend! No is her favorite word. Contrary is in her DNA. We actually changed the knobs on closet doors with key locks because it is the only way to keep her from causing me hours or re-organization. I keep my sense of humor and I insist that I will win. It is paramount that I win against her mighty mouse attempts and keep a shred of my own dignity in tact. It is no wonder that my back aches and it makes me feel like I am 80 yet I sleep as deeply and long as a teenager. And Bear waits for me each day where he presses his big head into my chest, sighs an says, hello. Thank you God. Sigh.
I giggle to think “she” is Ugandan. There is no child in Uganda who behaves like she does. I haven’t seen one with her defiance or mouth for shocking sass. It’s not that we neglect our parenting responsibilities they just land on her rejection for authority. With her fighting spirit in their culture where children are seen and not heard it is no wonder to me that God sent her to America. It might have saved her life. When she is in Uganda with me the locals expect her to behave like a Ugandan and when she responds like an American child they gasp and wonder what devil child she might be. I wonder too sometimes and think God has a twinkle in his eye and a chuckle when he sees me confounded. I suppose my consolation prize is that I am entertaining. And the big surprise is God has a great plan for her big personality.
I remember the days when I was kinda bored with my life. That seems like a lifetime ago. It was all under control. The four boys were in a good routine. There was plenty of time to exercise, keep the house in order, and get “it” all done with time to spare. We were hoping for a ministry and waiting for a sweet cuddly daughter. (She’s sweet and cuddly with daddy but super sassy with mama).I don’t want that easy life back. Boring is worse than crazy according to the book of Tonya. I know this is a temporary state and it will quickly transport us to a place where we can finally rest. I truthfully hope I slide in sideways to my grave all worn out and spent on what God has given me to do. That’s a far better arrival than all preserved and proper. I wouldn’t give up the purpose I feel each morning when I read the progress of what’s happening in Uganda. I am so extremely thankful God allows me to help these children, our staff and the community where they are from with my every talent and breath in my body. When I read the report about the recent outreach our Kirabo Seeds kids had in their community I cried and told God, “You can take me now. If that’s all I helped do in this life it is enough.” I have this absolute cellular level of craving to be “home” with the family in Uganda. When I close my eyes I am on the streets of Kampala. I am at home with the kids. I am riding in the van. I am in my apartment washing laundry by hand. I am on a clear and open line with God uncluttered by the busy life in America. I am marveling at Auntie Julie’s calm cooking among a boisterous house. I’m craving it.
As I mentioned my little tornado with chocolate flair has invaded my solitude so I will have to share that blessed event in Uganda…tomorrow. I hope. But it will come! I promise. Meanwhile Kevin has just told Jack he’s going to pop him like a grape. I gotta go. They are racing around my white furniture with insanity on their faces. I just had to say, “you must kill me first before killing each other so I don’t have to live through it.” Maybe you should pray for us.