All we have struggled against in Uganda sometimes fall around my shoulders like when I release my hair from a tight bun. I recall those who manipulated us and lied to us to get for themselves the money that belongs to helping children. Not just any children, but children whose parents have died and left them alone in this world, sadly, sometimes but not always in the grip of greedy people. The list of our enemies is unfortunately long. God is shaping me to learn how to love my enemies. I am a work in progress. Having enemies once made me feel like a failure until I understood and believed that doing a bold work for God guarantees having bold enemies.
I remember standing on a bridge with a handful of fish food. When I dropped one pellet onto the surface of the water suddenly there were swarms of fish, mouths gaping wide, their bodies struggling against one another wriggling to get the next pellet. I wonder about the first one’s who win. I never aim for the center. I prefer to throw my pellet way outside the group to the fish who aren’t able to get inside. As soon as I toss it far to the left the center of the scramble shifts there. And so I keep looking for ways to get away from the struggling intensity of the grabbing for resources. Some people have a truckload of pellets, or a basket full, or in my case just a handful.
Bringing funds from America to help the children in Uganda causes a similar effect. My pale skin announces my ability to feed. The struggling mass doesn’t care at all that those precious hard earned dollars are meant to make a difference in a child’s life. They are marked to encourage a child to become what God has intended. They are to help educate the children not landscape a home or feed the group of able bodied adults who should be working instead of taking. The competition for resources is intense in Uganda. People won’t share contacts because they will fear “their” money will go to another cause. Godly people forget that God directs the use of the funds, not the delivery person. So often it is whispered, “my mzungu” meaning she helps me, go away. Our Kirabo Seeds team is not that way! We work together to determine how to use the resources God provides for our organization. The reason we started our own organization is because I wanted to follow and track every dollar so I could be sure it did what I told people who gave it what it would do. There was a time I trusted another organization and they refused to give us accountability for how the funds were used. That didn’t turn out so well for them.
So when I go to Uganda I am seen as the one with a handful of pellets and there are those who will do their best to get it. My goal is to reach the neglected and protect the resource so that it is distributed carefully and accurately to the orphaned children. That’s not an easy task. Word spreads as fast as a pellet hitting the surface of the water.
This is my secret…God goes before me. He has directed my path for this work Kirabo Seeds does for him. All of us who work for this cause are carefully, prayerfully considering our every move. Our single words are chosen with caution and prudence. God gives us wisdom if we ask for it. When I close my eyes I am kneeling before God waiting for his answer. I am in the safe room with him even as I walk into what would be a worldly danger zone. I am never alone. I go behind an almighty God who has all the power to clear the way for us to go do a good work in his name for his glory and by his grace.
It is not my heart to ignore the masses of hungry with a hard heart. Instead of giving away the resources, we chose to extend free education so they can be more successful in their personal lives and able to feed themselves. That’s a gift that goes so much farther than a single serving. So not only do I travel with resources for the orphaned children, I have teaching materials to help the struggling masses. The love of God truly wants to reach every hand that extends out. My prayer comes from Proverbs 16:7, “when a man’s ways are pleasing to The Lord he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.”