R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

8 thoughts on “R.E.S.P.E.C.T.”

  1. Not to imply that I have this figured out…but this is the system we’ve found that works for us (and has been easy to implement with our newly adopted pre-teens). We spent a LOT of time considering the type and method of delivery of God’s laws for us. Here’s what we use. We have two charts — one negative, one positive (one red and one green), both consisting of two columns, “if” and “then”. On the negative chart, our “if’s” are: I do not honor my mom and dad (first time, all the way, with a happy heart); I use unkind words (tone and content) or actions; I hurt anyone in anger (hit, bite, kick, etc); I do not take care of our blessings (our house, our things, our toys). During a family meeting, we (the parents) outlined the “if” and had the kids help fill in the “then” with consequences.

    On the positive chart, we wanted to focus on the behaviors we really wanted to encourage. And going back to the Bible, we realized that we wanted to point the way to Jesus. We also knew that our kids, like us, would have a hard time getting over self so we wanted to encourage the idea of a servant heart. On the “if” side of our positive chart is says: (if) I have a servant’s heart for my mom and dad, my brothers and sisters, my community, my world. The “then” side says “then I will be rewarded with” and lists rewards that the kids suggested.

    We’ve found that every negative behavior can be traced back to the original 4 expectations and since there are only 4 the kids don’t struggle with remembering what is and isn’t a rule. We’ve also found this is helping create a schema for our kids to regulate their own behaviors.

    Not a golden ticket to perfectly well-behaved kids, but it’s working for us.

    Continuing to pray…
    Valerie

  2. Another thought is to have a scripture a week (or longer) to focus on. Some examples would be :
    Luke 6:31 – “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”
    Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
    Proverbs 18:24 – “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
    Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 – “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
    But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
    Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
    Romans 12:10 – “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
    James 4:17 – “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”
    Ephesians 6:1-2 – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother – which is the first commandment with a promise.”
    They can ‘brainstorm’ ways each scripture can translate into their daily lives. Maybe even come up with some ‘house rules’ based on the verses. This builds scripture into their lives and helps them internalize and apply it. It gives them ‘ownership’, not to mention the intrinsic value of God’s word.

      1. ps – this one my be critical for a family of 14 kiddos:
        Romans 12:18 – “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

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