The thick pot of orphan care needs stirring, and with all the added cultural differences, and selfish motives, it is a real struggle to move the spoon around and mix it up to a smooth substance.
Sometimes when I sit down to write about the things that are happening in Uganda I know I’ve lost my freedom to write. I put my fingers on the keys and I think, what am I allowed to say? I am no longer a simple adoptive mom from a country I love where there are so many children who need help and I’m willing to offer what I can do for them. Now whether I like it or not, I am president of an organization and there are a lot of people in Uganda watching my every move, shredding my every word, and vying for the assistance we can offer. I feel like there’s an angry mob outside my door and I’m stuck. Heavy Sigh.
I am not sure I can fully describe how sad it is for me to try and communicate here when there are restrictions, enemies, and thieves lurking. Looking for words is like picking black cat hair off black wool slacks. I am happiest when I can freely write. Now when I do that it causes all sorts of squabbles and problems for our work there, and actually it almost got me thrown in jail for contempt of court.
While the scales are equally balanced with much good news in one dish, there’s an equal amount of trouble on the other side.
It is a lot harder than I ever thought it would be to help orphaned children directly. There are many adults who suffer and want those American dollars to spread out into their needy corners as well. It’s slow and difficult to fundraise, requiring so much faith in God’s timing. Who’s to blame anyone who suffers for wanting help? It’s the trouble they can cause for me that gives me a case of the sighs and a growing headache. I am learning the value of putting up walls, solid boundaries.
Even so…I am faithful to what God has given me to do. He made it so clear that I was meant to help the orphaned children in Uganda. I expected a bumpy road. It didn’t occur to me we would have to learn to build bridges, but we are. I hoped it would be a peaceful journey, but it turns out there are bandits hiding along the road. Still, we have our mission, our goal, and we are not giving up. I am tenacious if anything. My gaze is fixed on the thirteen new children who will be coming to their new home very soon, and they will be in our care, and God will provide for them through our efforts.
All the other trouble on the other side of the scale, it will have to just get so discouraged that it goes away and leaves us alone. Because trouble cannot prevent Mama Tonya from stirring the pot, we’ll just do our best to keep the undesirables out of our pot, and keep our gaze fixed on the Lord.