I had a snap of spring fever yesterday. Kira awoke from her nap and it was 72 degrees outside so we walked down to the park for a little play time. I study landscapes when I walk and make mental notes of my preferences. My quiet addiction to beauty knocked on my heart from the inside and whispered… it is almost time to make this new garden something to linger over with your eyes so your soul can melt into it. Gardening isn’t something I schedule into my life; it is something that bubbles up from the inside. When the weather is right, and the days turn pleasant, I am propelled into the garden from some internal engine. I’m captive to the call of Spring to create beauty across my view. I am rubbing my hands together now, releasing my mind towards plant selections and wondering if I can get all the color I like to grow in the shade.
I wonder if Kira will ever feel that strong pull to the garden. I hope we can share gardening…photography…fashion…interior design…horses…crafts…theater…chick flicks… it’s a little lonely being the only creative person in this family of men. (I think music will be the center of her creative life.)
She’s turning two at the end of February and I feel this relief that we have made it through this crazy year of assisting her from baby to toddler. She is developing her independence and becoming capable of so many big girl activities. She stays pretty close, listens fairly well, and has some degree of caution.
It’s a joy to watch her personality develop. When I popped into her room after her nap she laughed this big “heh-heh-heh” that came from the bottom of her gut and could have come out of the jolly green giant’s voice. She cracks me up!
She can be cuddly and loving and terribly flirtatious dangling all of us at the end of her decision to share a pouty kiss or not. And then she can be stubborn too. Lately though her throw down to her belly tantrums are decreasing in frequency. I hope she’s realizing they get no reaction from us at all. She’s learning to say please and thank you and they work much better than the leg kicking fist pounding wail.
When Donny returned from Baylor Tuesday night, he hadn’t even removed his backpack before she took him by the hand, lead him to the piano, pushed him to the bench and climbed up next to him. This made his whole day! She sings and plays right alongside him. And he thought that our adoption wouldn’t have anything to do with him since he was going to college. Ha! Those little baby girls have a way of squirming right into the heart. She’s teaching him more than he could ever teach her. Whoda thunk?
Keeping up with her energy is exhausting. At the end of the day we are all worn out. If we were smart like she is we’d take a two hour nap as well. Why do we cheat ourselves?
Sometimes I feel tired just thinking about my parenting responsibilities. Donny is struggling with young adult issues, Jordan has to get serious about going to college, Kevin is overcommitted with activities and getting ready for high school, and Jack is becoming an awkward tweenie. Meanwhile, Kira is climbing the walls, emptying cabinets, running away, learning language, and demanding our audience every moment of her day. She is a walking danger to herself.
Calgon take me away.
Strangely, I thrive on this messy life. There’s so much purpose built into my day that I don’t have to think when I wake up, what can I do with myself today. Some days I wish there weren’t so many things on my to do list that are left undone. With that dilemma I have to shrug and know tomorrow is coming. I can’t let the pressure of the things to do knock me down, instead I can push back. We can just do our best with today, keep the priorities in line, and know it eventually all gets done.
The best decision I made today was to walk with Kira to the park as the sun slipped behind the trees. She’s only going to be two for a short bit in my life I don’t want to miss those belly laughs and squeals she makes when I push her high on the swing for any amount of list crossing satisfaction. For just a few minutes while I faced her and pushed her higher and higher both of us were smiling as wide as a face can go. There was so much happiness shared between us in that moment. Sigh…thank goodness we didn’t let our age deter us when we jumped into the adoption pool. She might even be turning back our clocks.