Yesterday I awoke to take my coffee in ocean breezes serenaded by the strong crash of waves with a view of the sun rising over the ocean. I had to say good-bye, but it was a quick one, void of the usual sentimentality I often linger around when I’m dragged away for another year from the beach. My life was crowded this vacation with too much work. There’s too much to do in too short a time, and though I was on vacation I could feel the pressure closing in on me. Around Thursday in my beach week of necessary rest and freedom from life stresses I had enough of all the business around the move, the constant calls, emails, texts and appointments to make that I told everyone just let me finish my vacation. I’ll be back on Monday. I stopped looking at all my emails after that and let my voice mail take my calls. Honestly, can’t a girl have some rest and pleasure?
However, putting up that fence didn’t take my mind off what’s on the other side. In four days the packing crew will knock on my door and begin taking down my home. I’m not at all prepared, which would normally cause some panic reaction, but I have to figure I will need to work through the issues that arise as they arise, and not try to have a perfect move, but instead flow perfectly with it.
For yesterday though, it had a hurdle of its own and I couldn’t think about moving, I had to somehow get myself from that perch overlooking the ocean in North Carolina to my own bed in Houston Texas by dinner time, with a toddler in tow and not an extra set of helping hands in sight. A two hour drive, two hour wait, two hour plane ride, one hour wait, two more hours on another full plane and a one hour drive later…Kira and I walked through our back door. Somehow, all of the logistics of our travel day were infinitely better than two twelve hour days in the car. As we arrived home, Craig and the boys checked into a hotel, half way home. My travel day with Kira was busy but we enjoyed each other. It’s not every day that she gets to have mama’s lap and sole attention. She was delightful. Not one cry! We enjoyed each other so much, but not as much as arriving home to relax and unwind. I admit, I was exhausted.
The minute I walked in the door something was different about home, I knew instantly it wasn’t mine and I didn’t want it any longer. (we sold it during the beach week) I don’t even have an urge to linger with it a short while more. I am ready to wring my hands of it. I am already mentally and emotionally moved into my new house. Our current house represented the longest set of troubles my husband ever endured, and though I was happy and enjoyed life here, knowing he was miserable puts an ink stain on all the emotional memory of being here. It’s time to have a fresh start with pretty colors and no dark corners.
Sometimes moving can mean reinventing our life, but I don’t feel this is what I am about to do. We are keeping all the friends we have made, work we have begun and connections of our life here and we’re just going to enjoy them from a few hours down highway ten. That’s all. I know I will have to prove this to all the doubters we are leaving behind, but with time, they will believe me. Kevin though has said something interesting when I asked him how he was feeling about moving, he is hoping to reinvent himself. He said, “it will be good to be known as Kevin LaTorre, rather than Donny’s little brother, or Jordan’s younger brother.” How interesting.
I’m feeling highly motivated, bouncy with energy and ready for the big challenge of transforming our new house into a home for everyone. I am prepared to walk alongside my boys and see where I can assist their transition. I am hopeful to enjoy my new neighbors and make good friends. Mostly I am more than ready to be together as a family again because Craig has been living his week days in an apartment since February. Enough is enough. It’s time to be together, and I think this is the driving force behind all my wits that make me feel up for the challenge. We are going to be together, finally, and be free from the looming cloud over us that drops relocation challenges and struggles on our heads like a hailstorm. The weather is about to change. My eyes are up.