Yesterday was part rest, part regrouping, and part settling in, trying to fully understand where we are going to live next. It’s not an easy decision to make. There are so many options. We could live in the city of San Antonio, or we could live in New Braunfels, or in Boerne. The first place to look is at the school ratings, which we discovered Boerne has the best ratings. I studied maps for over an hour. And next we had to talk as a family extensively about what we want our life there to be like. We think we want to live on more land and have access to nature, but making that a priority means we give up some conveniences. We are suburbanites now and it’s not exactly thrilling us. But we might be taking a lot of our lifestyle for granted. Maybe a small town would be fun for us. We loved living in a small town in Connecticut. We’ll have access to the city and all it offers but enjoy the simpler life of a small community. I had to face the truth for myself that I can’t be happy if I’m forced to drive my car everywhere. I use my bike for transportation nearly every day and it is not only part of my plan to remain sane, and get exercise but also to free the creative parts of my mind that are so integral to my work and to who I am. I can’t be stuck off a highway in a neighborhood. I need to feel like I am part of a community bigger than a bunch of houses that look and feel like mine.
It seems almost impossible for me to imagine being able to make these decisions while I’m preparing to go spend three weeks in Uganda and organize a team of 18 to work at the orphanage there. In fact, I had a little meltdown. Sometimes a girl just needs a big ugly cry to get it out of her system. Afterwards, I felt better, and I relaxed enough to really look online and begin to think about our new life in the hill country. Maybe I can do this after all. Craig suggested I spend next weekend there, while he takes care of life here. I can feel the lifestyle and talk to the people in the small towns I am considering as our next home. I can observe the roads and see if I would be comfortable biking around to do my life. I can talk to parents at starbuck’s and see what they think about their schools. I can visit a church and imagine our big family taking up the third row. I had to beg God to give me wisdom and remind me of all the lessons I have learned in the ten previous moving adventures so I can make excellent choices for the next step in our life. I don’t want to make big fat regrettable mistakes because I was rushed or distracted. This is a big burden.
I thought perhaps I would be able to snap my fingers and move without a whimper. I was wrong. In three years we have made good friends and happy memories here in suburbia. It’s going to rip and tear and make me bleed to leave here. It’s our church that we can’t part from. (and, sniff, my gardens) We believe we’ll remain active from a distance. We’ll at least try our best. I still think I’ll come back here to have my hair done on Saturday afternoon and go to church at 8am then drive the afternoon home. That’s the plan that helps me take baby steps towards our new life.