Adoption Bonding: loving me the way I am

13 thoughts on “Adoption Bonding: loving me the way I am”

  1. I’m so glad you and Kira will have this special time. When Ian and Alec came home I had so many people ask if I was going to get full-time help (common here) for them. I would always say, I don’t want someone to help me take care of my babies but I sure would love someone to help with my house! And actually, God provided for that need in a special way those first six months especially. So I am very happy he (through Craig!) is doing the same for you. 🙂

  2. I’ll be praying that you and Kira acheive the God-ordained bond He so wants you to have! And although Whitney is beautiful, don’t discount your own. Not only are you physically beautiful, but you radiate with the love of Christ. Thank you for sharing your precious princess with us, and as the bond grows more and more sure, we will still be here w/ open arms when you need us!!

  3. Tonya, I am so encouraged by your words about priorities with children. They are with us for such a short season in our lives and it takes alot of self-discipline to put aside “fun bizzzzzynes” for quality AND quanity time with parent/child bonding. Then again, you already know this…I love you.<3 (you know I'm not coming just to see Kira…! 😉

  4. o.k. girl….I’ll call you to meet Kira in May! I do think and pray for you a lot…the little pink bag with the brown dots that hold her stuffed giraffe has been completely smashed by teenage boys climbing into the back seat…and, every time I see it…I think of you and Kira…and I will be lifting you both up to Him.

    Kelly P.

  5. You are doing the right thing, although it can be uncomfortable. I still remember telling my precious but strong-willed mother that she and my dad could NOT come to Denver as soon as Cameron arrived home. I was eight months pregnant with Carson and we needed every minute of bonding time we could get. Hang in there!

  6. Hi Tonya,

    As a Mom of a strong willed child, I understand your concerns but would like to offer encouragement. Kira probably had her every desire met in the orphanage and may not have had boundaries instilled in her first several months.

    My challenge was my own son. Devin did not become partially reasonable until he was 4 years old as he was bound and determined to control our every move. Mark had worked midnights when Devin was born so it was my job to keep him quiet in our 1 bedroom apartment. I discovered at 9 months, he had me catering to his every whine and whimper which took another 9 months to break. By the time he could crawl, he would arch his back and straighten his body as to not be contained. His independence was more important than any cuddle time and he didn’t become cuddly until about 18 months when his desire for extreme independence started to diminish. Devin also enjoyed being out in public way more than being home and loved constant stimulation. At 6 months old, his best behavior was in the mall in a stroller. I used to say he was my bored baby. He was colic in his first few months and demanding which can coincide with being a “bright” baby. Today, he is completing his 3rd year in mechanical engineering. Do the two go together? I am not sure. However, the strong will in him made him an easy child once the Holy Spirit started working in his life and he knew he was accountable to God in addition to his parents. We probably saw this happen around 5th grade. I remember often wondering if I needed counseling prior to this time since submission was a big battle.

    Kira is quite bright, I am sure and probably has developed survivor techniques since she was adopted. Even though you may not have followed protocol, I trust she will develop the security for just you but she could also be wired to love the stimulation of others making the bonding more difficult.

    Thank you for sharing your journey with your friends. 🙂

    Love you,

  7. This was a bittersweet blog for me to read. I know that tight squeezing of your gut wanting Kira to be all yours, but there is a longer process that God is leading you down to get there. You are a wonderful mother, the best I have ever had 😉

    In all seriousness though, I love that way that you rationalized all of this, owned up for your mistakes, and are following God through the next part of this stage. Kira is going to be one lucky woman, because she has one AMAZING woman as a mother!

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