It’s a comfort to know so many people have contacted me just to basically say “hang in there, the wait will be worth it”. I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I once was a mama who was a little bit up tight, or as my physician likes to say “anxious”. In life there are circumstances that would make even the calmest person a little revved up and restless. These are usually the big events, like getting married, going to an important job interview, having the first date, closing on a house purchase, or having a baby due any day. So I am figuring people who care about me are assuming I’m experiencing a normal amount of stress as we teeter on the edge of purchasing tickets and traveling to Uganda. But I’m not at all. I was more impatient all through the year, and especially during the period when the courts were frozen for a few months. But now, I’m like a chick on vacation with a book on the beach. That’s not to say I’m lying around. I’m busy, but I’m not frazzled or emotionally tilted off balance. No one would complain that I’ve been snapping like a turtle or barking like the dog. It might even be suggested that I’m purring like the kitty.
There’s only one explanation for this phenomenon happening in me and it is simply that God is definitely at work. It also means I’ve finally achieved this state of trust and contentment with God and His authority in my life only after a complete surrender. My mind doesn’t have to go to work on this issue of waiting, it’s a matter of my heart. I believe that God is in control, and I believe it so well that I’m free from the agitation that would normally squeeze my chest and shorten my breath. In fact I’m quite certain there will be some little miracles of timing in this process that will stack like legos and fit just right for our family, and for Kira. I’m poised with pencil and paper ready to record them for always so I can show how God’s great hand is always guiding our way.
One of the kids asked what the difference between contentment and happy was. I was glad they asked. Happy is always based on external circumstances affecting the mood. Contentment is being satisfied with what we have whether or not we get what we want. I think one can always be content but happy comes and goes. I choose content.