Having my oldest son home from college for a few days was a new experience. I’ve never tried to parent a son of mine who has spent his time away learning to be independent from home. It was awkward at first and we both admitted we weren’t sure how to proceed. Our mutual confession sliced the tension and then it just drained away. Since neither of us knew what to do we could try and figure it out as we go along. It worked.
We visited Jack for lunch at his elementary school. This third grader was thrilled to show off his big brother who goes to college. All of the children passed by Donny with their mouths wide open as Jack perked himself up like a little peacock. After lunch Donny and I did several errands together and it gave us opportunity to talk about issues, life and changes. We’ve always enjoyed our conversations and trusted one another with private matters. I’m thankful that hasn’t changed. A friend of his from high school was in town and asked him to come to a party but Donny said no, I really feel like hanging out with my brothers. They threw the football in the front yard, emptied the fridge, went to blockbuster to get a movie and then watched it together. Jack said, “hey this is just like old times!”
One of the questions Donny blurted out while we were driving through a busy area of Houston has stayed on my mind. “Mom, what is the deal with girls and their obsession with beauty?” He hasn’t watched a little girl grow up so he has no idea how they arrive at this obsession. I said, “women learn when they are very little girls that they get alot of attention for dressing up and looking their best. Now we do it because we like the attention we get from being pretty.” He said, “that’s it, it’s about the attention? It’s not about the process of getting pretty?” I told him, “No way, that process is a chore we must endure and spend a lot of time and money on so we can get the result.” He slipped into his own thoughts. I then told him our secret, “Ok, you’ve also got to know God made man with a weakness for a beautiful woman. It makes him lose a part of his mind, and we know this. So, it is also a matter of power, we like having what will make a man weak. So be careful choosing a girl who is wielding that power in a selfish way.” He exhaled in a surrendered way and said, “I’ve got no chance of understanding this.” I couldn’t help but laugh and assured him he’s in the company of many many men. He looked at me in a way that said ‘it’s not fair’. ….Life’s not fair get used to it.