It seems like another me ago when I was having babies. It wasn’t by accident that the first three are spaced at least two and a half years apart. It was a little oopsie what Jack came another four years after we thought we’d had enough kids. Ha! That makes me laugh now as we are about to add our fifth child into the bunch. I had friends who turned out a baby every year and I would watch them manage such condensed timing of their children and scratch my head and wonder how in the world do they parent the individual child and not just lump them into a pile and call it one for all. I think of that as a sort of sprint through parenting, because now those friends of mine are launching a kid into college every year and their nest is going to be empty in a blink.
Me, I’m more of a long distance endurance athlete, so it reckons that I would also be an endurance type of parent. As it is for me now I am adjusting myself to the realities of having my first born in college, working on his own independence. I also have one in high school making plans for college. There’s one in middle school wondering what sort of power just over took his body and his emotions. He’s hoping that he’ll soon be taller than me. And there’s the little one in elementary school blazing through the joys of learning while it’s still easy and fun. Very soon I’m going to have one in the crib. My car will once again stow a stroller and a carseat. My schedule will be dictated by the feeding and nap schedules she requires. I am certainly covering the full spectrum of motherhood.
When I think about it and envision my effectiveness I admit it can feel overwhelming. How can I be the “one” to five? How can I mother five well and still remember who I am? What am I going to have to say “no” to so I can keep my grip on my priorities? I don’t honestly have an answer to these questions and more like them, but I do know if I ask God to step in and be the “one” for each of them he will. And if I ask Him to show me how to arrange my time and priorities, He will. If I have faith that He will provide me the knowledge, strength, stamina, and cheerfulness to do this job well, He will.
Many people think I’m crazy at this stage in my life to go back to the beginning again. Maybe they are right. But being crazy in love never hurt anyone. I know I’m about to fall in love the moment they put Kira in my arms. Call me greedy. I remember the moments I fell in love with each of my boys, and I am most excited about doing it again. And, I’ve got experience. I have one in college already, so, when I hold her on my hip, I can swirl across a spectrum and understand what the next twenty years of my life are going to be like. The forecast is always sunny when it’s peered through glasses of faith. So that’s what I plan to do. While all this sinks in for me, I notice that I seem to draw into myself a little more so I can quiet and still with God in case He whispers into my heart. I don’t want to miss one clue on how to proceed with this new life we are about to begin.