I am of the opinion that I am rather funny around our home life. I may be the only occupant with this opinion, but that’s ok by me, I’m happy to laugh at my own jokes. For example, on Donny’s moving day we left in the early morning before the boys awoke.The night before, during the fervor of packing and last minute friends dropping by for goodbyes Craig and I never really went over the protocol for managing their day on their own. So I left a note with a few regular reminders and a scripture. There’s nothing unusual about that except this was the scripture I chose: James 5:9 “Don’t grumble against eachother, brothers, or you will be judged. The judge is standing at the door!”
Ha! That’s funny. And I pulled a few on Donny yesterday to keep the day light and lively. I placed on the van seat a small pocket book titled: “1001 Things you should know before going to college….so you don’t come back” He took great delight in scanning the wisdom in the book, laughing over how much parents want to make sure kids know how to get a job out of college, not just have a blast. I also teased him most of the morning that we’d arrange a photo shoot with him in all the traditional places on campus. That’s his personal nightmare. He’s really shy about my camera. I wasn’t allowed to use my big camera in front of anyone. After saying our real good-bye I waved my hand up and said, See you Saturday! ( –He has requested a month before our reunion so he can cope with the reality of being away.) I’m a stinker I know.
My fun aside, I will say the boys are strangely fine with Donny’s absence here on the home front. That might be a different story in a couple weeks. When we arrived home Jordan had already moved all of his clothes to fill the entire closet. And this morning as Craig was on his way out to work I asked him to see if Jordan slept in Donny’s (bigger) bed. He did. Dinner was a little strange with an empty chair, but not as weird as grocery shopping. I had to stop myself from buying the habitual foods I pick up for him. Realizing how natural it is for me to select his favorites caused me to be more alert and conscious at the store. I put half of the apples back, skipped the big container of yogurt in favor for a few small ones and crossed soy milk off the list. We’ll have some adjustments to make here as the holes he’s left behind slowly fill in until it feels like our new normal.
This morning when I took Lucy for her run before the heat descended upon us I knew I was working out some emotional stress as well as giving myself the necessary physical stress. I exercise more intensely when I have “stuff”on my mind. I barely noticed it was drizzling on me. When I rounded the lake I looked up and there was a rainbow that seemed to shoot right off my house. I felt an instant calm. The rainbow is a sign of the promise God made after the flood. I receive it as a promise that God’s not going to give me more than I can handle. What divine reassurance that was for me. I remember a similar run many years ago in Arizona when we were trying to decide if we should move here, and my mind was in the same state of “fullness”, and there over my house were double rainbows. I felt the peace that however the move proceeded I would be safe and protected. I was. And now, I know it’s going to be just fine beginning this new way to be a family.