If I just crack open a crevice of my relationship with God and let some light spill out and spread, then I can let you see the most treasured part of my life and the essence of who I am. During this current life cycle crisis of setting a child out into his own independence– I crumble. My mind and emotions go into confusion. I cannot trust myself. But I know for sure I can trust God in every area of my life. I believe paslms 118:8, “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.” (including and especially myself) In my way the taking refuge is allowing the teachings in the bible to wash through me, regularly and often.I devour the verses of the bible that strengthen me and I spend as much time as I need to empty my heart out to God in my journal. Not because I’m supposed to, or because it is recommended, but because I need the intimacy with my source, my guide, my protector, my comforter, my friend, the lover of my soul. There’s where calm is available, where strength is gained. I couldn’t take one step into the adventure of my life (currently sending a child to college, and soon adding a baby into our family) without my source of strength, my God. There’s no power stronger than His. Not only do I believe that, but the circumstances in my life have proved it over and over again. He is “my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.”(psm 91:2) And with this faith I know that I can endure all pain, transition, change, and heartache. I am not alone. In the scariest of all scenarios I can imagine (and I have a good imagination for the extreme outcomes), I know for sure I am not alone if the worst came true. That is my source of strength. That is how I know I can cry and dance at the same time that I say goodbye to Donny. That is how I take the vagaries of life and press on with joy and peace.