I’ve been taking the boys to the doctor for physicals so the doctor can sign a form indicating each one of us is healthy and not about to have a life threatening sort of condition that would impair us as adoptive parents. It is ironic that any fool can get pregnant and treat the child as poorly as they can hide from everyone, but when a good family decides to open their arms and embrace an orphan we get fingerprinted and scrutinized as criminals. Oh well, I never expect all things to make sense. I am just willing to do what we must do to make this baby become ours… Including jumping through hoops wearing a silly frilly costume if I have to.
At the doctor’s office it seems that the boys reach a serious realization that this is really going to happen. The doctor asks them questions about how they feel about having a little sister and a big smile bursts spontaneously forth revealing both joy and uncertainty, but definitely a willingness to see what sort of adventure it will be. Not one of us knows what it will be like. As eager as we all are to go get her today it is a good thing that we have several months of internalizing and processing how it will change our lives and what we are willing to change to love her completely. We are making shifts everywhere in our paradigm of family. There will be no empty seats in the van if we all take one car. There are only four bar stools for breakfast. The bedrooms all have purposes now, and which one will be changed? Toys will be messy and everywhere again. There will be whining, and tantrums. We must all be absolutely vigilant about the doors to the pool being locked. The list goes down to my toes. Here’s what I see though, it has brought life to our conversations, it has challenged each of us to consider loving more and doing less for our selves and more for someone else on a full time basis. At the end of the conversations we unanimously agree it will all not only be worth it, but fun. I especially like to hear from my neighbors who tell me one of our boys has told them all about the adoption, and their take on it is just precious as they present it to their friends. It is nice that people tell me she will be lucky to get our family, but I tend to believe we’ll be the lucky ones.
Early this year I had a heart break when it was clear I had to find a new home for our second bulldog puppy Carly. The two dogs couldn’t get along despite my devotion to training them. It was like having a tooth extracted when I let her go. I was sore. I remember one afternoon crying bitterly in my garden while I pruned all my roses. That’s when it occurred to me, as a gardener I know pruning encourages better growth. So having Carly pruned out of my life gave me the assurance God was getting me to grow in a new direction. I had no idea what direction that would be but I trusted that he had a plan for me. I know he doesn’t take something away without having something better to look forward to, so I put my faith in it and waited. Now, I can see he was preparing me to realize we were ready to adopt a child. I wasn’t meant to put all my effort into keeping two dogs from fighting, but to help a child grow and learn and love. Yes this one is much better, and just as i knew would happen I grew into it because I’d been pruned. I must say making flowers is a happier place than getting cut back, but both are necessary for the overall health. It humbles me to know God loves me this much.