Last night there were so many fireworks popping in our neighborhood that I went to bed with a shivering dog convinced we were under siege and at war. I’m not crazy about fireworks though I don’t mind seeing the display through my own backyard trees.
This morning the wind is moving all of the trees into a sideways slant. I am watching the New Year blow right into my life. I enjoy a fresh start. I’m feeling quite invigorated. Perhaps I’ll serve smoothies to everyone for breakfast around here, make a salad for lunch, and vegetable soup for dinner, skip the white bread. I can just hear my boys moan as they look at that menu. I won’t force their eating habits, but I am going to straighten myself up a little bit.
Is anyone else relieved that the holidays are over? I confess they feel like an additional part time job for an already heavily burdened worker. I always say I will simplify but it doesn’t happen. I really want to keep Christ in Christmas, but it’s an uphill struggle to do that. I feel some shame in admitting that. But that’s the truth. I haven’t come out of this Christmas feeling closer to Christ at all, I’m feeling desperate for some intimacy with Him. I’m craving more time in solitude with God, listening to the reverberations of his word against my own soul. I’m so hungry for some spiritual nourishment.
So I have this wonderful sense of relief that we pushed through another busy, hectic season and have entered into the fresh newness of an open calendar, a new year, a good beginning. I need to stop analyzing how I handled these past few months. I feel a little like I lost the reins on a horse at full canter in a wide open field.
When I was learning to write a novel many years ago I was in a small writing group. We met twice a month to share what we were working on and to encourage one another to move forward. After a few months my friends became exasperated with me because I kept rewriting the first chapter to get it right. They kept urging me to leave it to marinate and work on it later, and move forward with the story! What I learned from this experience is if I keep rewriting the last chapter I can’t write anything new. I had to let go. I had to give up on perfection to make forward strides. When I finally opened Chapter two I felt so liberated to not look back. (eventually I finished the thing and was so sick of it I never looked at it again. It is in a box somewhere.)
I’m letting 2011 go, slip out of my hands. It is time to go on to the next chapter. This life is a page turner, can’t put it down because I have some clue about the ending if I’m living with an eternal perspective, and more than any riches this earth has to offer, I want eternity in heaven with God. I’ll add to the bank account there. The bible verse I was drawn to this morning as an opening for this New Year was in Philippians 3:13, and I’ll just close out this entry with God’s rich word:
Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Let us live up to what we have already attained.