How to Wait for baby

I might go a little loca if I don’t keep productively busy as I wait for the great wave of the government’s hand beckoning us forward from Uganda signaling it’s time to pack it up and come get our Kira.  I shudder at the thought of receiving that news. I might do a Forest Gump, and feel like running there. (hardly feasible)  For now, I wait. I don’t like waiting. I have the impatient American gene in a dominant position. But I’m stuck waiting so I have some preparations to do to her room. I don’t want to be setting up the room when I could be holding her and making raspberries on her tummy. I found a crib today, and the boys are going to pick it up tomorrow. I believe in the reuse rule when it comes to baby things, because the little darlings can’t use anything for too long- they grow so fast. Since we are definitely calling this the final child on the LaTorre train, it seems silly to get new. Her crib will go in the guest room. We’ll bump her out when we have guests. I decided, since I sewed the bedding for the guest room, to use the extra fabrics I have to coordinate her bedding! Tomorrow I will take measurements and make plans to sew a bumper, and dust ruffle. I’ll enjoy designing it in a custom way. I already have some ideas…

I'm finishing this project tonight.

Today I went to the knitting store and found a pattern to knit her comforter. I learned four times that the big huge bulky blanket that comes in the crib ensembles gets tossed aside at bed time.They are too heavy.  I tend to dress my babies warm for nighty-night. A light blanket is all she’ll need. So I bought some organic cotton the color of light bamboo, and a pretty cabled pattern. Considering we’ll be driving this summer to the Atlantic ocean, and then to northern Michigan and back home again, I’ll have plenty of car time to work on this project. If it isn’t finished after all that, I have the option of using it to keep myself busy on the 24 hour flight to Uganda. I can assure you however, I am not deluded in thinking that once she is in my arms I will spend one minute knitting again until she’s much older. My free time is about to fall into a black hole when she is placed in my arms. I won’t regret that exchange. Because I am older- at child #5- I have an eensy bit of a grandmother’s perspective on how precious babies are, how fast they grow, and how important it is to teach them, guide them and help them as they play their way through learning every moment they are awake. I consider it a privilege to be her guide during the day, then when Daddy gets home, I already know I won’t get any Kira time- Craig has made that clear.

These are the colors in her room.

I chose to knit and not quilt, crochet, sew or buy the blanket because the rhythm of knitting is soothing to an anxious heart. And waiting can tend to push me to the edge of anxiety where I can see it’s ugly face. So I calm myself as I knit. The rhythm of knitting also keeps my hands busy as it sets my mind free. I get creative thoughts while knitting. I explore issues easily while I knit. I come to conclusions and make decisions without a fuss while I knit. I can have great conversations with the family or friends while knitting.  I pray a lot while I knit, and for this reason alone is why I chose knitting. I want my prayers to be knit up into a blanket that I will use to keep her warm and snug. When she pulls it up to her chin and drifts into a sleep I will remember how I waited for her. How I am able to say I loved her the day she was born. And this blanket of prayers will keep her safe and warm in the dark, like a substitute for my arms when I can’t be there. Every baby deserves that, but in my heart, especially this one, because she has had to spend her first months without a mama of her own.

a little sample

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